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Out of everything that goes to make up your wedding day, it will be the ceremony that you will most remember. For those couples who want their ceremonies to be expressions of the sacred reality of their love, we can be helpful. It is our privilege to help couples who want a spiritual expression of their love to be prominent in their wedding -- whether the bride and groom be Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, any other faith, or no particular faith. God has blessed you with the gift of love, and that overrides anything else … whether you are of different faiths, whether you have been married before, or other particular circumstances of your life. We are ministers and Catholic priests (united in a Christian recognition of God’s love and unity in All That Is) who believe that we are here to be of service to everyone with our sacramental (i.e., “grace-filled”) ceremonies. For those of you who are Christians, the philosophy of this Wedding Service is that there is only One Christian Church, and all Christians are members of it. We know that Jesus’ message and service of love is not owned by only one denomination within this One Church, but by all. The gifts of the Holy Spirit are meant for ALL people of good heart. It is clear to us that God lives in all people, Christians and non-Christians. Divinity is within us all, and we are within divinity. God loves every human being completely and unequivocally. We are also happy to be of service to those of you who do not consider yourselves Christian, but who hold that a spiritual reality (in any way that you see that to be) is important in your life. Many people are turned off by the institutional aspects of religion today (e.g., what you must do or must believe), and we can both understand and respect your feelings in this regard. We would be pleased to offer a spiritual/sacred ceremony that will reflect your same values. The one same God lives in you as in us, and loves us all without reservation. Could we do less? The ceremony is often the part of the wedding to which the least thought is given, or it is the part the bride and groom presume is solely in the hands of the celebrant or the church. That doesn’t have to be the case. Some couples want their weddings to be simple legal ceremonies, in which case you will not want one of us as officiant, but should call a magistrate, judge, or justice of the peace. But many want expressions of the sacred reality of their love, and if this is you, then one of us can be of service to you. We will officiate at a ceremony that can be sacred in a way you define sacred to be. The first principle to remember is that the ceremony should feel comfortable to you, the bride and groom. You want your marriage ceremony to exude how you feel and to be relevant to your beliefs. Then, you will want to take into consideration the religious traditions of both of your families. If the bride and the groom are of different faiths, it is wise to be inclusive and considerate of the beliefs of both sides. In actuality, the core beliefs of most religions today are very similar and the areas of disagreement are relatively minor. Virtually everyone believes that love is the essence of God, and that God’s primary command is that we become better, more loving, more compassionate, more caring people, and that we do this through our relationships with other people. A lot of ceremony can be built around these universal beliefs. Certain churches and locations have many rules and restrictions; we have few. Some priests, ministers or rabbis are much more strict than others about what they will allow. We have ceremony workbooks that will let you pick and choose, and thus compose your own ceremony. Some religiously-conservative spiritual leaders will allow interfaith marriages only if both parties agree to bring up the children in their faith; we leave that up to the family itself. Some religions require permission to marry outside the faith or to have an interfaith ceremony; while we believe that love is paramount, that if “God is Love”, then those “in love” are in God. Our ceremonies range from about 20 minutes to about 30 minutes, depending upon what you choose to have in your own ceremony. We have found that if a ceremony goes 15 minutes or less, guests look around and think, “Was that it? All this for that? Was I snoozing?” If the ceremony goes 30 minutes or longer, guests begin to shuffle and dream of cold beer. 20 to 30 minutes is a perfect length. Some officiants spend very little time with the couple prior to the wedding day itself. Others have relatively extensive and structured marriage preparation sessions. We find that two sessions, the first about an hour in length, has always been sufficiently enriching, enjoyable (for both ourselves and the couple), and appreciated. If you want marriage preparation courses, which can often be wonderful, or counseling, there are specific places in most localities for them. We find that most people usually know each other very well (many live together already), and are ready for the marriage without any formal instructional preparation. Most couples appreciate the time we spend together before the wedding as being very beneficial. (At a second meeting, we go over the ceremony and details of the wedding day.) When the atmosphere and words of your ceremony reflect the love you and your fiancé feel for each other, it will be a powerful launch into your new life together. To think that marriage is an arrival, a settling in to a life of love, is to miss what marriage is about. Life itself is the continuing quest for becoming a more loving person; marriage is the recognition of a soul-mate, a unique and trusting partner with whom we can best make that journey to greater love more happy, more successful and more beautiful. Marriage is the magnificent continuing passage into greater love; it is not the destination itself. A wedding ceremony that builds on the values of your past and looks to the future will speak eloquently to you both throughout your life together. Occasionally, ministers of two different religions officiate. This can be nice, but you should be aware that this situation can often be distracting from you, the bride and groom, as the central focus of the wedding. |
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